We’ve all been there. You’re excitedly planning a date, you turn to your partner or crush for input, and you’re met with the two most frustrating words in the dating dictionary:

​​”I’m easy.”​​

​​”Whatever you want.”​​

​​”You decide.”​​ πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

While often well-intentioned, a constant “I don’t know, you choose” can quickly become a dating ick, draining the fun and energy out of planning. It puts all the mental load on one person.

But don’t despair! A passive response doesn’t have to be a date killer. It’s an opportunity to lead with charm and creativity. Based on the collective wisdom of frustrated Redditors, here are three high-EQ strategies to turn “whatever” into a wonderful date.

Why People Say “Whatever” (It’s Not Always What You Think)​​

Before we get to the fixes, understand the why. It’s rarely pure laziness. It can stem from:

  • ​A desire to be polite​ and not seem demanding.
  • ​Genuine indecisiveness​ or fear of choosing something their partner won’t like.
  • ​Low energy​ or not having strong preferences about the activity.
  • ​A test​ to see how you’ll handle the situation (whether they realize it or not).

Your goal isn’t to force a decision out of them, but to ​make deciding fun and collaborative.​​

​Strategy 1: The “Two Tempting Options” Play πŸŽ²πŸŽ²β€‹

This is the classic, foolproof method. You take the lead by presenting two specific, pre-vetted choices that you’d genuinely be happy with.

  • ​How to Say It:​​ “No problem! I’ve got two ideas: we could go to that new immersive VR experience I’ve been wanting to try, orwe could grab tickets to the open-air jazz concert in the park. Which one sounds more fun to you?”
  • ​Why it Works:​​
    • It shows you’ve put in thought.
    • It makes the decision easyβ€”they just have to choose A or B.
    • It reframes the question from the overwhelming “What should we do?”to the simple “Which of these good ideas do you prefer?”

​Strategy 2: The “Fun Framework” Challenge πŸŽ―πŸ¦β€‹

This strategy is for when you’re already out and about. Instead of asking whatthey want to do, give the activity a fun purpose or a silly constraint. This is a huge favorite on Reddit for breaking the indecisiveness cycle.

  • ​How to Say It:​​ “Okay, mission accepted. Our challenge: we have 20 minutes to find the weirdest/ugliest/most amazing [item] in this store. The judge picks the winner, and the loser buys ice cream.”
  • ​Reddit-Approved Examples:​​
    • At a thrift store: “Find the item that best tells a story about its previous owner.”
    • At a museum: “Find the art piece we’d least want in our living room.”
    • On a walk: “Let’s find the house with the coolest garden gnome.”
  • ​Why it Works:​​
    • It instantly creates a shared mission and inside jokes.
    • The pressure is off “having a good time” and on “completing the mission,” which ironically leads to a better time.
    • It’s playful, flirty, and incredibly memorable.

​Strategy 3: The “Delegate & Empower” Move πŸ€β€οΈβ€‹

This strategy is for building a long-term dynamic. You handle one part of the date and explicitly empower them to handle another, making them a co-creator, not a passive participant.

  • ​How to Say It:​​ “Alright, I’ll make us a dinner reservation. Your very important job is to pick the playlist for our drive there/find the best dessert spot nearby. I trust your taste!”
  • ​Why it Works:​​
    • It clearly divides the mental labor without being confrontational.
    • It gives them a specific, manageable task that makes them feel involved and valued.
    • The phrase “I trust your taste” is a huge confidence booster.

​What to Avoid: The Low-EQ Traps​ 🚫

  • ​The Sigh & Guilt Trip:​​ “Fine, I’ll just figure it out myself, like always.”(This creates resentment.)
  • ​The Endless Loop:​​ “No, really, what do YOU want to do?”(This just continues the frustrating cycle.)
  • ​The Passive-Aggressive Choice:​​ Picking something you know they don’t like to “teach them a lesson.”

​The Bottom Line​

A “whatever” isn’t a wall; it’s a door. It’s an invitation to lead the plan with creativity and to turn potential awkwardness into a fun, connecting game. The right person will appreciate your effort and happily play along. πŸ₯°

​What’s your go-to move when someone says “you choose”? Share your pro-tips below!​​ πŸ‘‡