Things You Must Know Before Dating a Perfectionist
For the most part, people aren’t sticklers for details. Some of us, on the other hand, end up with a partner who is an overachiever. It’s possible they’re not on the same page, even if you realize no one is flawless.
If you’re not a perfectionist, dating a perfectionist can be difficult. Even so, it made me more conscious of myself and my interactions with others. So, did this event teach me anything about myself? Absolutely.
This question has an unequivocal “yes.” A little bit of a perfectionist, I suppose. It is impossible for me to live up to the standards of an extreme perfectionist. Even while dating a perfectionist can be frustrating at times, if you can learn to deal with and understand their tendencies, it could turn out to be a wonderful experience. It’s a challenge but not insurmountable.
Are you a perfectionist yourself?
Before you start blaming your partner, take a look at yourself. Perfectionism is a characteristic shared by many of us. But even if your partner does it flawlessly, there may be a few things that are your responsibility to get right. So, take a peek in the mirror and see where you fall on the behavioral continuum.
They’re listening.
Listen, they’re probably well aware of their tendency toward over-achievement. I mean, if they’re true perfectionists, they’ve been constantly reminded of this throughout their education and professional experience. Detecting this trait isn’t difficult. So, if you want to talk about it, you can do so. When things don’t go according to plan, find out what motivates them and how it affects them emotionally.
Clearly define your limits.
It’s imperative that you and your partner agree on some ground rules before moving further. Some of their behavior must be accepted by you, and they must be accepted by you as well. To that end, let the naysayers tell you what they will not compromise on.
Let them be on time if they constantly need to be on time. To get ready for the day, if they require waking up two hours earlier than you, give them permission to do so. However, you must also communicate your displeasure with certain aspects of the situation.
Decide on a course of action.
Obviously, you’ll need to discuss such matters with your partner if they are significant enough to affect the direction of your life. Let them decide what movie to watch or where to eat, but don’t always. It’s important to remember that they’re perfectionists, so they’ll want to meticulously arrange every detail. You, on the other hand, are a party to the relationship. Things don’t always go as expected in life.
As a group, work together.
Perfectionists are accustomed to working independently and exerting total authority over their surroundings. This needs to be changed, however. Instead, put your energy into collaborating with your coworkers in a cohesive manner. To ensure your independence, ask them to assign you tasks from a project that you must do on your own. But it’s not going to assist anyone in the long run if they try to take over and do it for you.
Encouragement is a powerful tool for changing behavior.
In the event that a perfectionist’s strategy does not go according to plan, it can result in tragedy. Nonetheless, this is where you come in as a helpful ally. Because their plan didn’t work out, you need to support them and remind them that it doesn’t indicate that their idea was a terrible one. Educate them on the benefits of not requiring perfection in all aspects of their lives.
Let your flaws shine through.
When we’ve dated perfectionists, we’re more likely to comply with their requests. We make changes if they don’t like something. However, this is incorrect. They must be made aware of the reality of their flaws. Keep your flaws out of the way, and don’t make radical changes in order to appease them. They must be aware of your identity!
Make certain you like them.
To be honest, dating a perfectionist may be a real challenge. This relationship and the people in it require a significant amount of your time and energy. As a result, be certain that you enjoy them. In fact, I am saying this because of you, not because of them. There will be some difficult times, but if you care about them, you will persevere.
Allow them to reflect on their own well-being.
People rarely contemplate their own character defects. After pointing out their perfectionism, however, allow them some time to reflect on their actions and the reasons behind them. Past trauma may have contributed to their drive to exert total authority over everything. However, they are on their own to discover this.
I hope you put these pointers to good use now that you’ve learned how to date a perfectionist. Everyone is unique, but you can use that uniqueness to learn more about yourself and strengthen your relationship.