We have a special someone out there somewhere, and the world is filled with individuals who are looking for them. How do you choose between equally appealing options?
We have no control over the people we find attractive, and if we find ourselves attracted to more than one, that’s just how it is. However much you may desire otherwise, there just isn’t somebody who perfectly exemplifies your ideal qualities.
The qualities you want in a partner may be present in unexpected places. That’s why it can take some people a while to meet someone they click with and develop romantic feelings for. Even if we find the ideal partner for us, we may later come to dislike some features of that person’s character, appearance, or demeanor.
You may meet the one who completes you, or you may find two or more people who are just what you’ve been looking for all along. Knowing that both of you still have a shot at success, the dilemma becomes which one to choose.
If I can't decide, what should I do?
Since no one else can dictate your personal tastes, picking a partner might be a challenging task. If you don’t make a choice as soon as possible, they might choose for you. They’ll defend you to the death or they’ll abandon you. How they value you matters.
If you’re the sort to cheat so you can have a relationship with two people at once, you should expect them to leave you once they find out the truth. If, on the other hand, you made no such commitments and intend to pick just one, you’d better make your decision, since not everyone is patient enough to wait for those who fail to see their value.
It's crucial to pick one over the other.
It’s gratifying to find that two people are drawn to you, but in order to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings, you should only pursue one of them. These questions can serve as a guide if you’re still struggling to figure out what to do next.
How confident are you that you will be pleased if you don’t pick only one? In case you reply, “I’ll figure something out,” As so, you’re not even asking the right questions. Good luck to you if you never intend to make a decision because you believe you can influence the outcome of every possible scenario.
What’s keeping you from making a decision? Is the prospect of permanently losing one of them giving you pause? Do you worry about making a bad decision? Do you think you’re treating them equally? Regardless of the drawbacks, do you want them both? Whatever it is holding you back, keep in mind that the decision you make will have repercussions for everyone. You’re causing harm to more than one individual. You’re making three people miserable with your actions, including yourself.
If you weren’t hesitant or scared to make a decision, what would you do? If there were no repercussions, what would happen? What if the perfect relationship you chose turned out to be a friendship? Which one would you pick? It’s possible that you’ll find your way to the solution if you only clear your mind of all the doubts and worries holding you back at the moment.
Is it your impression that they approve of where you currently stand? When making a choice, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that the outcome will affect at least two other people besides yourself. Is there any thought put into what it is that they require? Worse yet, what if they’re sick of waiting and too hurt to comprehend why you’re keeping them at arm’s length?
Willingness to relinquish one of them? If one partner isn’t putting up the effort necessary for the relationship to flourish, then it won’t last. You can’t expect either of them to be content with a committed relationship in which they are kept exclusively for you, but you are free to date others.
Do you wish for their joy? If you recognize that you’re too attached to either of them to let them go, you need to evaluate whether or not your own happiness is more crucial. Although prioritizing your own happiness is a commendable goal, doing so at the expense of another is not acceptable behavior.
Consider carefully what kind of person you aspire to be: one who is vain enough to want the love and admiration of two partners, or one who is strong enough to let someone go to avoid further heartache.
There are two possible outcomes when you discover you have romantic feelings for two different people: having a relationship with either one of them, or neither of them. No matter how much you want to date both of them simultaneously, in the end, one or both of them may realize that you can’t make up your mind and break up with someone who can’t commit.
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