Your partner may find it difficult to understand how you feel about wanting something more if you’re just “friends with benefits” to them today. So how can you know if they’re just looking for a short-term thrill, or if they’re open to the next stage in their relationship?
An idea we refer to as “slow love” is common among those who participate in casual sex as a precursor to more serious relationships. A serious relationship can be built on the foundation of casual sex.
In the early stages of sexual activity, the message conveys that the person is attracted to the other person. Having sex early is a way for those who wish to get married to learn as much as possible about this individual.
If you’ve already made a casual physical connection, here are some tips to help you go farther.
1. Determine the Interests of the Parties
Your partner’s remarks and actions should be taken in stride. During the day, do you solely hear from them, or do you chat about other things as well? It’s possible that your lover will be open to committing to you if you enjoy spending time together outside of the bedroom. If they’re not interested, now is the moment to make a decision about whether or not to continue your arrangement or pursue something more important.
2. Show Your Personality
Tell your lover how you feel if you’re sure they feel the same way. There is no harm in getting a clear answer even if it turns out that your fears were baseless. You can casually bring it up and give your partner a chance to consider it. A good rule of thumb is to avoid making ultimatums: Be specific about the kind of new connection you’re looking for, and be prepared to wait a while for a response.
3. Get a Grip on the World
Finding out if your companion is “relationship material” might be extremely difficult. Suggest that the two of you go out for a date: Choose a semi-casual activity, but one that implies you’re looking to see if a date is a good fit for you. Visit a museum, grab a cup of coffee, or prepare a meal together as a couple. It’s only when you spend time with someone outside of your bedroom that you begin to see each other from a fresh perspective. If they aren’t interested, what will happen? If this person isn’t “the one,” that’s fine.
Even if you’re nervous about starting a new relationship with someone you care about, the payoff can be worth it. Even if this companion turns out to be a dud, there’s no harm in trying. Nothing can be predicted in the future.