Hypergamy is a weird concept that has resurfaced from the dusty pages of history in our day and age of social and sexual equality.
Everybody from feminists to red pill people to male feminists is talking about it. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages, the doom it brings, or how it simply fits into nature’s pattern. They claim that it’s bad for society, that women are superficial, that males should work harder, and that evolution is to blame.
“Hypergamy Doesn’t Care,” a well-known Rollo Tomasi composition, even provoked a battle of the genders over the concept of “hypergamy.” Hypergamy, on the other hand, what is it? Is it merely a fad for the current era?
Hypergamy 101
Women who marry males from a higher social class practice a practice known as hypergamy. Hypergamy, in a nutshell, is “marrying up.” Men shouldn’t wed women of higher rank, and women shouldn’t wed men of lower status in this society.
Many are startled to find that hypergamy has been practiced throughout history, from India to ancient Greece to medieval Europe, but this is not entirely true. Hierarchical societies rely on it for structure. When a lady marries, she is hoping that her family’s social status will rise as a result. It is also done in order to forge contacts with potential political allies.
Hypergamy is virtually unknown in today’s society, which treats men and women as social equals in most respects.
Wrong.
Hypergamy is being reinterpreted and applied in a modern context.
In today’s hypergamy,
Hypergamy makes sense in the context of sexual selection because men are drawn to young women with characteristics like “wide hips” and “large boobs” that suggest they are more likely to give birth to healthy children. Women, on the other hand, are on the lookout for men who can at the very least provide the necessities for the family’s existence.
As a result of this, modern women are seeking other attributes in males that make the latter appear superior, such as political and social connections and income. These now govern what is attractive and appropriate for women, changing the standard by which status is assessed in today’s society.
In the end, this isn’t just a case of gold-digging, as women aren’t just searching for a partner who can provide them with material goods. To them, having a “higher status” refers to a wide range of qualities that are more often perceived than actually exist. Among them:
- Achievement (having a title, running and owning a business, being up on the career ladder)
- Money (big paycheck, fancy cars, big house, sharp suit, designer clothes, latest gadgets)
- The ability to handle one’s own affairs (being older than the woman; often several years her senior)
- Alpha guy in a group of males because of his assertive demeanor.
- an impression of toughness or strength (a protective quality)
- Having a goal in mind (having plans in life, working hard)
- Being surrounded by adoring female admirers
- Self-assuredness – Attractiveness
How technology plays a role..
There may also be a movement in the standard as a result of technology, such as social media and online dating. A phenomenon is known as the “Candy Store Effect” occurs as a result of women’s easy access to a large number of males online. Women nowadays have access to a seemingly endless supply of attractive men at their fingertips, thanks to advancements in technology.
Until recently, the playground for the attraction was located in bars and nightclubs, where their options were limited by the four walls of the establishments. The dating game has now moved online, with sites like Facebook and OkCupid, as well as dating applications like Tinder, taking part in the competition.
The result was a shift in women’s preferences. Now they may pick and choose from a seemingly limitless pool of potential partners, but in the past, they had to be reasonable and even compromise in their pursuit of a romantic partner.
Additionally, women have found ways to sort through all the testosterone in order to choose the right partner. When it comes to weeding out possible partners, they focus on the superficial aspects of their appearance, such as their work, wealth, and even a sense of humor that may be seen in their profile descriptions, tweets, or posts.
And as a result, social and sexual attraction are more influenced by hypergamy.
Is hypergamy a positive or negative thing?
Among men, women, and the many beliefs they have about hypergamy, there is a battle taking place. Take a moment to consider the obverse and reverse of the coin.
Those who argue that marriage is a good idea:
1. The process of evolution. As a result of hypergamy, reproduction and natural selection can proceed as they should since women are able to instinctively or innately select mates based on better attributes. Thus, it ensures that each succeeding generation is more powerful and superior to the one that came before them.
2. It was a pleasure to have you here, hypergamy. According to the theory of evolution, hypergamy permitted early females to choose partners who were better at hunting, gathering food, and protecting their kind than they were. In the absence of female hypergamy, evolution would have been slowed, and we would still be living in trees today.
3. In addition to child support, you may also be responsible for other expenses. Women’s preference for strong, successful, and well-established males can be explained by the way the female mind operates. To find a long-term partner, women are looking for men who are capable of providing for their mental and physical needs, as well as those who are capable of becoming responsible parents, warm, and loving.
4. The drive to get the best possible results. Male self-improvement is now more important than ever before, as women have traditionally been the ones who make the final call on who gets mated and reproduced. Not a bad result, in my opinion. The concept of hypergamy encourages men to strive for ideals that make them suitable mates, from remembering appropriate daily cleanliness and grooming to going to night school to improve their abilities and getting that second job to save more money.
While others argue that hypergamy is harmful due of these reasons:
1. You’re in trouble now. Hypergamy gives women the freedom to select any man they wish. There will always be a search for a better man, which means that the “inferior” guy will be on the hook in case the female ends up with someone else.
2. It doesn’t give a rat’s behind. To paraphrase Tomasi, women are only interested in guys who are more wealthy, powerful, well-liked, and good-looking, so it doesn’t matter if a man is any of those things.
3. What a weight to bear. To attract the ladies of their dreams, guys place a lot of pressure on themselves when they get married. When it comes to everything from their demeanor to their speech to their level of financial security, the stakes can be high while still being inadequate.
Divorce. Many people even say that women cheating on their husbands with “better” guys is a major cause of divorce.
A few parting thoughts
Unfortunately, the current discourse on hypergamy is overly generalized and, at worst, misogynistic. The assumption that a desirable woman is solely interested in rich, successful, and handsome men is a ridiculous caricature because reality is otherwise. Unlike their male counterparts, women aren’t content with the prestige, wealth, or renown they receive from them.
There are plenty of women today who have created names for themselves or just managed to live the lives they desire without the support of a man. An example of this trend is the growth of the alpha female, who has no problem “marrying down” as long as the man treats her well.
Despite the fact that he has a low-paying job and a meager salary, there are ladies who would happily settle down with an honorable man who cares profoundly about others around him.
When it comes to hypergamy, consider this: If you think you’re doomed, think again. Start looking for a job and a place to live, and then sit down and talk to her. Make her happy. Every day for the remainder of your lives together, if that isn’t enough, you have to convince her that you’re the finest guy on the planet. For those who can’t, it might be best to remain alone or at the very least unmarried.
A woman’s inclination toward hypergamy may be a result of evolution, but it is up to every guy to accept the card that he has been dealt and do their best with it.