A Man’s Reason for Pulling Away and How to Respond

September 1, 2022

For men, silence is a form of communication in and of itself. Find out why guys withdraw and what you can do to get them back by reading on.

As far as you can see, everything is progressing splendidly. You’re making progress in your relationship, he’s making you feel like a million bucks, and you can finally picture a future with him. Finally, the inevitable occurs. Unpredictably, he begins to back away.

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Men are more nuanced than they are given credit for. When they start to show signs of losing interest and pulling back, our initial assumption is nearly always incorrect because of how unpredictable they are. You may be doubling down on the precise conduct causing him to withdraw.

When you sense he’s losing steam, how you react could determine whether he comes back full speed ahead or runs in the opposite direction. To figure out how to deal with a guy who is being evasive, it is helpful to examine why men sometimes disappear from relationships seemingly out of the blue.

Causes of men's withdrawal

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Reasonably enough, “why he pulls away?” is one of the most Googled questions. This is a typical male response, although it is often misconstrued and puzzling to female listeners. When we’re anxious or scared, men’s inability to express ourselves in the same ways women do might leave us flailing.

The trouble is that he will become more annoyed and distant the more questions you ask. When a problem arises, females typically want to “fix” it right away. However, we frequently make matters worse when we attempt to fix them.

There is always a correct way to respond when a guy pulls away and a wrong method that will have the opposite effect. Here are some potential causes of a man’s retreat and some helpful approaches to taking care of him if he does. Discovering what is making him withdraw is crucial.

1. You have an annoying tendency to be insistent.

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You should expect him to pull back if you continue to make advances when he is not ready. Most men dislike it when they are pushed into a relationship. For fear of losing control, they may push away or withdraw if they see you pushing the relationship in a direction they aren’t prepared to go.

ANSWER: Put an end to your aggressiveness. You can’t force him any further than he already is. Stop interrogating and accusing him and let him figure things out alone. He is not worth losing if you push him too far. Reduce the stress in your relationship, and he may return to you.

2. He is unable to convey his ideas.

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People who struggle to communicate with you may withdraw from you physically or emotionally. The main difficulty is that he does not always understand what is happening, how to explain it, or how to resolve it. When a man cannot adequately communicate his wants and requirements, he often withdraws rather than confronts the issue head-on.

ANSWER: Sometimes, all it takes to get him to understand is a little gentle prodding. So, stay calm and give him time and room to work things out and figure out how he feels on his own. More of your questions will confuse the situation further, keeping you at odds with him.

3. Nothing is appealing about him anymore.

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A man’s only sex fantasies at the start of a relationship involve you. Dreaming about you now causes the brain to release a hormone called dopamine. However, production in the brain begins to decline after approximately three to four months, and it’s as if the drug’s effects have worn off. Whenever that occurs, he has no idea what’s happening. He may withdraw from you if he feels he has lost interest in you.

ANSWER: Dopamine may not be created naturally, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be manufactured. The magic will return once the temperature is raised to a certain point. Putting effort into a relationship is essential, especially when it comes to sexual activity. If you can get him excited again, he’ll return to you in a heartbeat.

4. He feels drawn to another person.

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Perhaps he’s attracted to someone else if nothing has changed, and he suddenly pulls away. If he’s daydreaming about another girl, he might be trying to figure out how to end the relationship. If you’ve noticed a shift in his routine, his lack of sex interest, or if he’s been increasingly secretive and distant, he may have moved on.

ANSWER: The man must be let go. Stop seeing him if you suspect he is seeing someone else. If you back away and he doesn’t try to get you back, the relationship probably isn’t meant to be. Ignore him if you suspect he feels for another lady and looks for someone who will love you wholeheartedly.

5. His employment has been giving him a lot of anxiety.

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Contrary to popular belief, guys are not feminine. They cannot handle multiple tasks at once. If he’s too wrapped up in one thing, like a job, he probably can’t concentrate on both at once. If you’ve seen that he’s lost interest, it’s crucial to investigate his actions and the circumstances of his personal and professional life. It could not even be about you.

ANSWER: Don’t pile on extra pressure and make things worse for him. So long as you give him space to deal with his problems, you’ll have plenty of time to concentrate on yourself. Pressuring him further to open out would add stress to his fragile psyche.

6. The necessity to pursue or hunt has been eliminated.

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Men thrive on competition. It’s possible that the excitement of capturing you, the object of his desire, has worn off. This isn’t intentional; he might feel depleted of virility once he’s won your heart.

ANSWER: Remind him of why he was pursuing you. Do not let him think he has gained your love permanently because he has won over your heart. Make him work for you by not giving in and begging for forgiveness. He’ll likely restart the search and chase if you tell him you’re alright without him.

7. His lack of confidence shows.

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There’s a chance he’ll start to feel unworthy after a while together if his expectations for your financial situation aren’t being met. Pressure from being with someone a man cares about can become too much if he worries that he can’t offer in the way he wants to. It’s possible he’s pushing away because he’s projecting his feelings of inadequacy onto you and holding you responsible for his shortcomings.

ANSWER: If he already feels bad about himself, the last thing you want to do is make him feel worse by constantly being irritated with him. All you can do is stick by him and attempt to give him the confidence he needs to pursue his goals. Your encouragement will boost his confidence and let him know he has met all your expectations.

8. You're both at various points in your relationship's development.

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If you’re at stage 10 of a relationship and he’s still at stage 3, it’s possible that he’s withdrawing because he isn’t ready for or capable of what you have. People’s reluctance to commit can stem from any number of factors. If he isn’t and knows you are, he’ll want to get some distance.

ANSWER: No amount of coercion will ever get two people in the same spot. You can only let him figure out for himself whether he wants to be with you or not by giving him time and space to make up his mind. Let him work things out on his own; he’ll let you know when he’s ready to take the next step with you. If you push him away, he may start to believe that you aren’t the one for him.

9. He senses something is wrong but is at a loss for words.

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The man might have feelings for you, but he might not be in love with you. I know that seems cliche, but it’s a thing. He loves you deeply, yet he may not feel romantically attracted to you. He doesn’t want to upset you, so he might withdraw while he thinks of a way to broach the subject.

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