Relationships, like everything else in life, go through stages. It would be a huge help if there were a manual that pinpointed exactly the correct moment for each milestone, but the truth is that every couple moves at a speed that works for them. To make matters more complicated, if you’re ready to make a long-term commitment and your partner isn’t, it might be difficult to propose.
The strongest and happiest partnerships are based on open and honest communication between the two people in the relationship. Bringing up the “Hey, should we put a ring on it?” conversation may be nerve-wracking for anyone, no matter how open they are with each other. Couples don’t have to worry about how to handle this conversation, thanks to the advice of psychologists.
The Reasons for the Difficulty in Talking
Having been together for so long, you and your partner are unable to keep track of the number of years. Even though you’ve only known one other for a brief period of time, it feels like you’ve known each other for decades. Whatever your definition of “intimacy,” you and your significant other’s level of intimacy goes through the roof when you become engaged. That’s a scary thought.
Because of this, the concept itself has a built-in risk of rejection. Despite what you’re saying, your partner may not share your sentiments. What if you and the other person can’t agree? What if your significant other has other ideas? What if they see the future in a different light? As prepared as you thought you were, you may be surprised to learn otherwise. Having a talk about getting engaged can lead to disappointment if you and your significant other learn that your goals for the relationship don’t align.
As Bradshaw points out, women tend to avoid discussing the issue at all because they don’t want to be viewed as “nags” or “pushy.”. Because most women want to be surprised when they become engaged, they are reluctant to make their intentions public for fear of ruining the magic of the proposal.
1. Be Aware of the Flow of the Event.
In other words, it’s not about how long or short you’ve been dating, but rather about where you are and what’s going on in your personal lives. Dinner parties aren’t the best place to have a serious conversation about whether or not you’ll get married. Begin the conversation by discussing where you and your partner envision your future going. When it comes down to it, getting married is about more than just exchanging rings or throwing a great bash.
2. Acknowledge It's a little strange.
Because at first, it may appear that way. Let your partner know that you believe the moment has come for you to be more open about your feelings for them and where you see the relationship going. To encourage your partner to be honest with you, let them know that you’re struggling with the same thing.
3. Your Relationship Dreams Are Worth Discussing
Or, to put it another way: Show your affection. You want to get engaged because you can’t fathom your life without your significant other. As someone who worries about being clingy or naggy, it’s important to be honest about how much you care about your spouse and how well you operate as a team. By insinuating that you two perceive yourselves as a married couple, you open the door to a conversation about marriage in the future.
4. Pose Unconstrained Issues
Open-ended questions might help you get to the bottom of where your spouse stands in your relationship journey. When your partner tells you anything, don’t take it personally, since sometimes, it’s not about you at all, but something they’ve just come up with all on their own. Rather than blaming them for their actions, try to understand why they made the decision they did.
At this point, it’s just a different viewpoint, and it doesn’t necessarily reflect the future of the relationship, nor does it necessarily reflect the quality of your relationship with your spouse. When it comes to getting married, you want to be able to express your motivations for doing so, as well as why moving forward in your relationship feels right for you. If you can articulate why something is important to you, your partner will be more receptive to hearing your ideas.