We’ve often witnessed it on screen, but how do affairs actually happen in real life? Is there a specific event that sets this off, or is it “one of those things?” Learn all about it in this article.
Dealing with infidelity is devastating to a relationship. Despite any baggage or pain you may have had in the past, you choose to give your all to another person, to be vulnerable, and trust. You’re hoping your current relationship will last a lifetime. However, your companion then makes a colossally foolish move. They have an affair with a new acquaintance, a long-time friend, or a coworker. You may be curious about the origins of relationships.
Your faith and trust in the world are shattered, and you are left wondering what will happen next. A one-night stand is not the same as an affair. When your partner finally admits to cheating—or when you finally catch them—you won’t know how you’ll respond until it’s too late.
Some people could be more forgiving of a one-night stand than an affair since they know it won’t amount to anything more. The duration of an affair is not short. The time frame could be measured in weeks, months, or even years.
It’s tragic, but where do affairs even begin?
Exactly what an affair entail, and what causes it to begin, needs clarification.
It is commonly accepted that an affair occurs when one partner has sexual intercourse with someone other than their spouse or partner. An extramarital affair can occur between any committed couple, even those who are married or engaged. Any particular time range doesn’t constrain them.
They might be intense and short-lived, or they can be all about the sex. However, forming an emotional attachment is unquestionably the worst. In a moment, I’ll elaborate on it.
Extramarital affairs are detrimental to romantic partnerships. Many marriages can recover from an extramarital affair if the cheating stops and both partners commit to never cheat again. Some married couples, however, are unable to work through their problems and end up divorcing.
Some affairs result in a permanent commitment between the unfaithful partner and the other person. I mean, that must seem like a huge slap in the face to the person they started out with.
Where do we even start?
But where do relationships begin? Several other factors could be at play here. It’s well accepted that people can love multiple partners at once. Maybe they just happened to meet each other and instantly fall in love.
On the other hand, one possible cause is that a spouse is experiencing feelings of unlove. Maybe things have gotten pretty boring in the bedroom, and they can’t seem to talk to each other about it. In such a situation, one partner may look elsewhere for solace. If they meet the appropriate person, it could be enough to spark an affair.
Obviously, none of them are acceptable explanations. They are, nonetheless, standard explanations for the genesis of a variety of interpersonal conflicts.
Is there more to the relationship than just physical attraction?
It is up to the individual to decide whether or not they can forgive a spouse who has cheated. There is no one who has the authority to make a choice for you. Of course it’s your prerogative to decide whether or not you can trust your lover again after forgiving them. Many people, however, base their decision to forgive or cut ties with the other person on whether or not the affair was merely sexual in nature or whether or not genuine feelings were exchanged.
From that perspective, the question isn’t so much how things get started as it is how they develop. Could it be forgiven more readily if it were only sex than if one partner had developed feelings for another person?
There is no correct response. The betrayal would hurt me more if it involved my feelings, but if it was just sex, I might be able to forgive it. Because, in the end, that’s exactly what it is: betrayal.
To do so would be a complete and utter violation of your faith in and affection for that individual. It has the potential to annihilate you and, if you let it, prevent you from ever forming healthy relationships again.
Next steps?
Relax and take your time. That’s really all there is to it. Don’t feel like you have to decide anything at this very moment. Allow yourself some time alone to think about and process everything that has transpired. Then, when the time is right, you can go ahead and investigate further.
If your significant other truly regrets what happened and wants to mend things, they will be completely forthright in answering your questions. It won’t help you get over the betrayal if they aren’t willing to tell you what happened.
How can you be sure that feelings won’t resurface after they’ve already been expressed? If your partner has cheated before, how can you be sure they won’t do it again? The correct response is “no.”
You need to regain trust in the mended connection you’ve made with this person. That’s the rub: after you’ve been betrayed, it’s natural to conclude that every warning sign portends a repeat performance.
Once an affair begins, how does it begin? For a wide variety of causes and in several settings. But keep in mind that no one is compelled to have an affair. They are the result of a conscious choice to deceive one’s partner.
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