How do you handle it as soon as you realize that the person with whom you are in a committed relationship is still flirting compulsively?
The act of flirting is so incredibly personal. Divorce might be caused by what one person sees as a harmless compliment or a lighthearted social tiff. All of these factors have a crucial role in shaping our perceptions of the world, which may not always agree with those of others. However, if these divergent points of view arise within a partnership, you may be in for a bumpy ride.
Flirting in all its forms: how to date a flirt.
Flirtatious behavior is easy to spot, regardless of the situation, because of particular actions. The question isn’t whether or not it’s a flirt, but how damaging flirting can be to a relationship. There is the possibility that harm has already been done, and trust concerns are beginning to surface even while we debate this matter. In order to bury them, you’ll have to confront the matter head-on.
How, then, can this be done?
Which strategy has the most potential?
To help you decide on your chosen course of action, we’ve put together this list of ways to deal with an inveterate flirt—complete with a scale of efficacy, from one to 10.
Talking about it.
Relationship issues are never unpleasant to address, and the topic of communication is one that is frequently brought up. If your lover flirts with the opposite sex, talk to them. Unless you call it out to them, they may have no idea they have this bad habit and are shocked when you do.
Even if your partner first refuses to listen, at the very least, you will have the opportunity to voice your worries. Doing so will make it clear that they can no longer get away with their bad behavior.
Doing the favor back.
You have to use fire to extinguish the flames in this phase. If your partner has a habit of making sexual advances toward anything and everyone that moves, teach them that it isn’t acceptable by beating them at their own game. But beware: it could backfire, and you don’t want to be the one who ends up ending the relationship on the back of a poorly performed attempt at tit-for-tat.
Accusations have been leveled against you.
Would you like to see if flirtation may lead to real action if the occasion presented itself? Many people have tried to set up their partners in circumstances where a plant has prompted them to go beyond the conventional boundaries of flirting. However, what is the state of your relationship if you need such drastic measures? By a long shot, it’s not the most effective alternative.
Klaxon effect.
A loud klaxxon blast or some other obnoxious audio or visual effect is given to anyone who flirts with you, no matter the setting or context. There is nothing else I can say about this other than to ask you to grow up.
Motivate them.
Using this technique, you actually encourage your partner to continue flirting by asking them to do so more often than they already are. When they perceive that you are emotionally separating yourself from them, they will begin to reduce their flirting to pay more attention to you. However, depending on the individual’s sensitivity to the circumstance, or lack thereof, they may interpret your actions as a giant thumbs up. It’s a shame that you scored for the wrong team.
The spy who cared for me the most.
It’s possible to spy on them when they think you’re not there to see if they’re flirting in a sexually motivated way or if it’s just a harmless game. However, if you have to stoop to snooping, the relationship isn’t going to be very healthy.
The self-esteem barrier.
Send someone your way! As a last resort, send your most faithful friend to do some ego-blocking; mention his partner’s name in front of the person being flirted with. This will cause the individual to deflate like a football on a barbed-wire fence.
It’s like a hound dog.
The ego block is quite similar to the hound dog, however, the hound dog requires you to perform the ego blocking on your own behalf. When you’re in a relationship, you’re like a fighter pilot, always keeping a close eye on your partner and intercepting any flirtation that comes your way. Stalking your loved one is more often referred to as “stalking,” and it is unlikely to gain you anything but resentment or a court order from your loved one.
There will be no meeting of the two.
You might simply decide that you’ve had enough, that you’re not going to put up with any more flirting, and that the only other alternative is to separate. An efficient strategy to ensure that flirting with this person never occurs again, but it overlooks the reality that if you had just sat down and spoken about your issues, you could have ended up living happily together for the rest of your lives. ‘Cutting off your nose to spite your face’ is what they call it!
It’s okay to let things be the way they are.
Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, you could choose to ignore what is happening. Even if it works to some degree, it’s more probable that you’ll wind up damaging the relationship by engaging in an endless succession of misguided disputes and disagreements. Let nature take its course instead of hiding it all in a bunker.
However, if you want a relationship that’s both satisfying and gratifying to proceed any further, flirting is something that must be dealt with.
Consider the advice above and make sure you’ve taken the necessary steps to deal with your personal flirtation issues.
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