Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. There’s nothing exciting about this, in my opinion. Regardless of how much you desire to spend time with your lover, over-availability might have negative consequences.
The drawbacks of readily available information
You may come out as needy if you’re constantly available, which could lead to you being taken advantage of. Regarding availability, the ancient approach of “playing hard to get” comes into play a little bit.
Humans are born with an urge to seek and find new things. Everyone enjoys the process of “hunting.” Interest soon dwindles when someone is aware that they already have you and can take you anywhere they want.
There have been a lot of visitors. As soon as a person begins dating, it is fairly uncommon for them to give up their social groups and focus solely on their new partner. That, of course, doesn’t last very long.
After a while, some people realize that they are simply too available for the people they are dating to be happy with them. When their new spouse asks them to do something, they invariably say yes, which leaves them vulnerable to abuse. It also encourages the new spouse to expect a lot from you regarding time commitments.
It’s rare for such kinds of relationships to succeed in the end.
So how do you tell if you're being too attentive to your partner??
This isn’t difficult to figure out because there are many indicators that you’re overly accommodating. To make things work, read these indicators and make the necessary changes as soon as possible, according to our experience.
1. The word "yes" appears frequently in your speech.
You’re too available if you’re always saying yes to your new flame’s requests or requests. Aren’t you working on something else? What about curling up on the couch and watching a movie instead of going to a car show that wastes time?
2. You instantly respond to any incoming phone call or text message you get.
You’re in the shower, aren’t you? If you’re taking a shower, don’t respond to texts. This is a clear indication that you are overly available. You can react immediately if you’re not doing anything else, but if you’re at the dentist getting your teeth cleaned and have to spit on your hygienist to communicate, you’ve got a problem..”
3.You apologize for missing phone calls and texts.
Do you quickly apologize and explain when you receive a missed call because you were in a meeting or even simply taking a little nap? This becomes desperate, even if you are being polite about it. Instead of apologizing, merely say, “Oh no! What’s the matter?” It gives you an air of mystery and perhaps suggests that you have a life apart from your romantic partner.
4. All but a few of your interactions are initiated by you.
To me, it appears that he’s not just constantly available but that he is also a little desperate. Texting 50 times a day is unacceptable if you’re too busy with your own life.
5. You are willing to accept last-minute dates.
This is Friday at 4 p.m., and he phones you to see if you want to go to dinner at 6 p.m. Of course, you pick up the phone on the first ring. Although you’d already put a pizza in and were ready to curl up in your PJs and eat your heart out, you joyfully answer, “Of course,” and switch off the oven before heading to the bathroom. A clear indication that you’re overly available.
6. You allowed them to change their plans at the last minute.
It’s 6 p.m., you just showered, and you get a text from a friend stating something “came up.” As a result, all that’s left for you is to change into your pajamas and eat a half-cooked pizza.
No fun at all, but you cheerfully respond, “No big deal!” and carry on with your dreary night. It doesn’t imply you’re “understanding” if you let your significant other reschedule plans at the last minute without making a fuss.
As a result, it indicates that you are overly available and don’t mind sudden schedule changes. Please do not be a doormat by letting him know that his canceled plans annoy you.
7. You end up canceling whenever a group of pals decides to do something.
This is a heinous crime that no one can excuse. When you cancel plans with your pals because your spouse wants to go out for lunch, it’s a solid sign that you’re too available. It’s fine to tell them no from time to time. It’s a positive thing!
8. Nothing you do with your pals is based on hoping he'll be interested in joining you.
Again, a disproportionate number of people are guilty of this heinous offense. Your significant other could be able to do anything on a Saturday night. Still, if you say no out of chronic fear of disappointing them, you’re passively waiting for someone who isn’t interested.
9. You assure him you're not busy whenever he asks, although you're crammed with work and a new pastime.
Another option is to tell him you’re free whenever he asks, hoping he will stop bugging you. Even if you aren’t being overly available, the fact that you are acting as if you are is just as awful.
10. Your close associates complain that you're always available.
Please, listen to your buddies! Due to the simple reason that you’ve been ignoring your friends in order to spend time with your new love. It’s a solid sign that you’re being too available if a buddy tells you that you’re canceling on them or not making plans with them at all.
11. Everyone wants to know if you ever get some alone time.
Because it feels like everything you do is with your significant other, even if it isn’t much, because you need to keep your schedule open for your fella. People want to know about your other interests and ambitions, but you seem unable to address them entirely without mentioning him.
Why it's a poor idea to always be on call
You may assume that being overly accessible isn’t that big of a concern. If you’re fascinated with someone, why not spend as much time with them as possible? But hold on a second. Being too accessible to another person has many drawbacks.
1. You appear to be desperate.
Needy people tend to be disliked by others. The “chase” appeals to many people against popular belief. It matters more to them if they have to work hard to earn your attention. Because they “captured” you, they regard you as more of a “treasure.” Being available all the time and not requiring them to put in the effort to see you is an issue since it makes you appear desperate and needy.
2. You instill in them a terrible attitude.
“I’m not sure yet; I’ll let you know” indicates that they aren’t making you a priority if you question them about their plans for the weekend.
Because they haven’t set up dates with you in advance, you’ve dropped down the list of their priorities. Accepting a date the night before, and even more so the day of is a bad idea. Tell them you’re busy, and they’ll understand that they need to work around your plans.
3. It appears that you lack self-confidence.
When someone is overly accessible, it appears that they lack self-respect. People with a high sense of self-worth aren’t so willing to take whatever the other person offers them.
In contrast, people confident in their abilities set boundaries and enforce them by not being overly accessible to others. They have enough self-respect to say “no” now and again.
4. Because of your vulnerability, they will take advantage of you.
What makes you think you’d like to be a pawn? If you always let others use your time how they see fit, you allow them to do so. In turn, this could also lead to their abusing you in other ways. They think you’re too “easy,” so they’ll walk all over you if you allow them.
5. Your status among them may be low.
Those interested in might not think highly of you if you’re always available to them. If they don’t see anything else in your life, they might assume you don’t have a social life. For all they know, you’re putting everything else on hold so that you can spend time with them. Many people will have little respect for you if you do that.
Ways to deal with being overly available
So, now that you’re aware of the numerous drawbacks of being overly accessible, what can you do about it? Here are a few hints.
1. Resist the temptation to accept a date at the eleventh hour
This makes you appear desperate, as we have stated. It implies that you either don’t have anything scheduled for them or that you reserved time for them in advance of them asking. It’s important to tell them how long it will take for them to set up an appointment with you.
2. Don't respond immediately to texts or calls.
Yes, we know that you are anxiously awaiting our response via text or phone call. That, however, appears desperate and needy on the speaker’s part. Somebody else could conclude that all you do is sit around and wait for them to contact you. This does not represent you well. As a result, resist the temptation to start a conversation with them immediately. Make the most of your time away from them.
3. Get back in touch with old friends.
It’s time to end the practice of abandoning pals because you’ve found someone better. Make plans with your pals to do things you enjoyed when you were single again. Put yourself first, and don’t allow yourself to be controlled by just one person.
4. Improve your self-confidence.
If you’re always available, you might want to look at your self-worth. Consider why you behave in this manner. Because if you decline this person’s invite, do you fear they will forget about you? They aren’t going to do that. Seeing you less frequently will pique their attention. Because of this, work on your self-esteem so you don’t feel compelled to meet this person.
5. Consider canceling if you're too busy.
It’s not like I don’t know you. When they invite you out at the last minute, don’t accept! Make alternative plans instead! The only way to stop kids from doing it is to teach them. To spend so much time waiting for someone to ask you out because you aren’t being balanced in your life is unhealthy.
Over-accessibility may make you appear desperate as well as dull, even if you enjoy spending time with your significant other. As part of the enjoyment of chasing, provide your man with a target.