One can never have a flawless first date since there is no such thing. There are some that end with a kiss, goodnight, and a plan for a follow-up date. Others lead to annoyance, embarrassment, and the fear of offending someone. And it’s not always simple to respectfully decline a second date. You don’t want to appear disrespectful, but you also don’t want to appear rude. Avoiding, going on another date, or ghosting your lover will harm your relationship. How can you strike that precarious balance? It’s a challenge. And a pain!
Ghosting is the result of those who don’t know how to decline a second date gracefully. Fear of appearing awkward or hurting someone’s feelings keeps people from saying what they want to say in a direct way.
Ghosting is not only impolite, insulting, and cowardly, but it’s unnecessary if you know how to gently decline a second date.
If you decline a second date, what are your reasons?
I’m going to say it, so here we go. Honesty is always the best policy. In order to politely and clearly decline a second date, you need to know why you’re doing it in the first place.
Does the person you’re dating want a long-term relationship while you’re searching for something more casual, or the other way around? Is there anything you disagreed on? Did you learn that they possess one of your stumbling blocks?
Whatever the case may be, it’s understandable that you’re uninterested. Even if it’s just because you didn’t sense a connection, it’s enough.
After a bad first date, it might be hard to tell someone the truth. The second date that you didn’t get will appreciate that more than you can imagine.
Even while it may feel cruel at first to inform someone that their way of life doesn’t match yours or that you can’t date someone who is disrespectful to service workers, the uneasiness will pass quickly.
Avoiding, going on another date, or ghosting your lover will harm your relationship. In order to create a long-term relationship, it is crucial to be honest when declining a second date.
How to decline a second date without appearing rude or uninterested
We can all understand your hesitance to accept a second date. It’s a little awkward. It’s terrifying. You don’t want to inflict pain on another person’s emotions. That’s all a jigsaw puzzle.
If the scenario were reversed, you know that you would want to know the truth if you could. As quickly as possible, you’d like to know why and you’d like the response to that question.
It’s the finest thing you can do when deciding how to decline a second date to treat them with respect.
1. Be Honest. Even though it seems like a no-brainer, lying about why you don’t want to go out on a second date can backfire. Think about what you’re doing, not what someone else says you should be doing. Make it clear that you’re leaving the country, not like Chandler from Friends.
Be calm and inform them that you were sick. You should answer any follow-up questions gently and then end the conversation. Lying is always harmful to your reputation as well as the people you’re lying to.
2. Give them a pat on the back. Accepting praise can help you feel more at ease about declining an offer. If you’re a fan of them, tell them so, but. Alternatively, you may remark that you had a good time but that you don’t want to see each other again. Complimenting someone can make the experience more bearable and allow them to leave with a positive attitude.
3. Don’t use your friendship to entice them. Don’t tell them you want to be friends if you don’t want to be. To avoid a second date, we typically declare we’re not interested, but we’d still like to keep in touch. Don’t offer it if you don’t intend to do so.
Since many individuals will take this to heart, they’ll be expecting to see or chat with you on a more frequent basis now. Don’t bother with politeness unless you really mean it.
4. Don’t leave it open to interpretation. Leave things up in the air rather than be crystal clear about your desire not to go on a second date. Ultimately, it will just make things more difficult for everyone. Because the other person won’t know what to make of your rejection, you may also have to endure it for longer.
Using phrases like “I’ll text you” or “maybe,” simply serves to prolong the unpleasantness of the conversation.
5. Fake friendships with people you don’t know if you can get away with it. When it comes to meeting new individuals for the first time, dating apps have become a popular option. This means that when you see someone, there is no way to hold them accountable for their actions. The ability to fabricate or go dark is facilitated by the absence of a workplace or social circle.
If you were dating a person with whom you had a mutual friend, you would have to explain why you didn’t want to go on a second date. Pretend that you are accountable to this individual, even if you are not. Keeps you honest and courteous when you can get away with not doing your best.
6. Inform them face-to-face. Most people ask for a second date at the end of a first date, which is common. Just inform them in person rather than waiting for a response from them. Although it may be difficult at times, you will look back on this time with fondness.
You’ll have an easier time declining a second date or having difficult conversations in the future if you’re more clear about your preferences upfront. Despite the fact that they haven’t asked you out on a second date in person, politely decline.
7. Stand your ground. In some instances, saying no to a second date can be challenging. The vast majority of individuals will simply walk away from you when you reject them with class and dignity. In the event that you offend or harm someone, they may try to convince you otherwise, stating that they were never really interested in you in the first place.
Allow yourself to let go of it. Once you’ve been upfront about your motives, it’s no longer your problem whether the other person reacts badly. If you tell them that you don’t want to date someone who smokes or travels a lot, they may try to sway your mind. “I appreciate that, but it’s still a no,” you can say in this scenario. Good luck in anything you do.
8. Be confident in your innocence. You don’t have to feel that bad. It’s hard to hurt someone you hardly know, yet you have the power to do so. Just because they were kind doesn’t mean you had to take them out again.
If you were truthful and respectful, you have nothing to feel sorry about. Regardless of how they try to make you feel, you conducted yourself well and should feel proud of yourself.
9. Only if absolutely essential, put a stop to them. In 99 percent of cases, you won’t have to do this, but some people will not accept no for an answer. You might still get a text or a like from them even if you don’t connect with them anymore. To avoid more aggravation, block them if you believe they don’t understand your point or are going too far.
You have no obligation but, to tell the truth, and if you’ve already declined a second date with honesty, the outcome is entirely up to the person you rejected.
When it comes to declining a second date, honesty is always the best policy. The next time you’re on a bad date, you’ll be a lot less awkward and a lot less confident if you follow these instructions.