You’ve found someone to sleep with, but it’s just a one-time thing. It can be fun, but you need to follow these 25 rules for friends with benefits. Having casual sex can be fun, but there are some rules you need to follow, especially if all you want is a satisfying romp.
You could have learned a few things about the infamous FWB relationship from friends. But if you really want to do that, here are some things you should keep in mind. Start a “friends with benefits” relationship with someone you like.
Rules that matter in Friends with Benefits
Met a cute hottie who seems just as interested in how you look as in how you act in bed? Here are a some things you should think about before you start fighting.
1. Don't get in love.
This is the most important to remember and easiest rule from Friends with Benefits to remember. Don’t let love happen. But this one is also the most difficult to follow.
At first, it may seem simple. You could say to yourself, “I’m just horny!” I don’t want to fall in love or be with someone. Everything is about sex!” But if you sleep together for a while, you might start to care about each other emotionally. You should do anything you can to avoid that so you don’t fall in love.
2. Be emotionally grown up
Know from the start what kind of relationship you’re getting into. The story shouldn’t have a happy ending. Be happy with a story that ends well.
If you aren’t emotionally grown up, it will be hard for you to handle a “friends with benefits” situation. You have to deal with the possibility of jealousy and the emotional ups and downs that come with it. If you aren’t ready for that, this might not be the right situation for you.
3. Lay out the rules
This is a very important rule from Friends with Benefits. How often should you both talk on the phone and how often should you get together? You can date other people, right? If so, are you able to talk about it?
These rules aren’t written in stone, but you both need to try to follow them. It’s a good idea to talk right away, before you even have your first sex. Don’t put it off, because if you do, it will be too late.
4. Don't be a needy person.
You don’t love your friend with benefits. Okay, they are technically your lover. That’s it, though. Not a thing. You need to keep telling yourself that.
Don’t call them all the time or try to talk to them if you have nothing else to do. Don’t talk about anything but sex. If you feel like you are becoming too needy and want more attention, look at the last rule for the rules.
5. Don't tell anyone
Don’t talk about it with your friends. Gossip has a funny way of spreading quickly after you tell a friend about it. You’ll either upset your friend who knows you well or get a bad name.
It would be best to keep it a secret because other people might not get it. They may wonder why you don’t have a date. Then you leave yourself open to a lot of criticism. Avoid doing that if you can.
6. Don't sleep with two people from the same group.
It’s too risky and you might get caught, especially if they both try to give you sly smiles and looks, or even worse, try to reach under the table and touch your crotch at the same time.
In fact, you should only sleep with one person at a time. Hello… STDs!! What does “Friends with Benefits” mean to a guy? Do guys get hooked on the show?
7. Don't get too excited
Yes, you can have a relationship with someone that doesn’t have any rules. Yeah, good for you! But keep your excitement and libido in check, or you might get bored or scare your screw buddy away.
If you seem too excited, your sleeping partner might think you are breaking the rules of “Friends with Benefits.” Don’t tell anyone how excited you are.
8. Don't ask her out.
Even though you’re close, there’s no reason to see each other anywhere else but in bed. You’ll break up the couple.
If you do go on a date, you are really breaking the rules of “friends with benefits.” You can still go out for ice cream every once in a while, but don’t make it a real date.
9. Find something to do.
As soon as you start having sex with your friend with benefits, you should start to like someone else. As long as you’re interested in someone else, you won’t be able to fall for them.
Use the apps to meet people. Meet people to date by going out with your friends. Take up some new hobbies.
10. Don't talk to them too much.
Don’t ask them about their personal life or talk to them about problems in life. You’re only interested in each other for sex, so you shouldn’t bring in anything else. You should only call for one reason.
Again, the reason you don’t talk too much is to keep yourself emotionally separate. This is important part of making friends with benefits work.
11. Don't make love to a good friend
This is more of a suggestion than a hard-and-fast rule about Friends with Benefits. Don’t have sex with a good friend who is attractive, no matter how much you want to. In a few months, you will either lose that friend or both of you will hate each other.
It’s not often that two good friends can have sex without it having any meaning. There’s a chance that one person will fall in love. And if only one person does it, it could mean the end of the friendship.
12. Remember how it ends
You will almost always go in different directions. Or you could end up having an affair when one of you is in a relationship with someone else, which can get very complicated. Choose the first one.
Think about it: friends-with-benefits relationships aren’t meant to last forever. It’s meant to be short-term.
13. Stay away from people who are seeing other people.
It might sound sexy and badass and give you a boost of confidence, but you’ll either get caught or one of you will have to carry around a heavy bag of guilt that will be shared in the open.
It’s neither right nor wrong to sleep with someone else’s partner. No matter how tempting it might be, don’t do it. Too many people will get hurt.
14. Mentally date someone else
Don’t talk to each other about your own lives. But try to convince yourselves that the other person is actually seeing someone else. It will keep them from getting too close.
Yes, I think this is a game. And it’s sort of true. But if you think your FWB is seeing someone else, this will help you keep your feelings from getting involved, which is what you want to do.
15. Be honest
If you’re falling in love with your friend with benefits or feel like things are getting out of hand, you owe it to your friend to at least tell them the truth so you can both decide what to do with the relationship. They might feel the same way, but they might not. No matter how you feel, it’s important to be honest about how you feel or how you don’t feel.
Things that can happen in a relationship with “friends with benefits” A perfect friends with benefits relationship can be fun at first, but it also has a few bad parts. We’d like to tell you that there are no dark corners, but the bubble has to burst at some point.
16. It's impossible to fall in love
When you sleep with a friend or have casual sex, you usually lose the chance of falling in love with someone who might be perfect for you.
Even if it takes you a while to realize it, you can’t change the fact that your sex friend is the most charming person in the world. It’s too late to turn back now.
17. You could lose a good friend.
If one of you acted too quickly or made a few bad choices, the only thing you can do is walk away forever.
Can you deal with it? Sometimes it’s more important to have a good friend for life than to have sex. Think about what’s good and bad about having sex with a friend.
18. You could end up jealous or unhappy
Even if you try to act like it doesn’t bother you, you might be upset if your friend starts dating someone else. And you did all of this even though you knew what the rules were.
To be able to deal with this, you need to be emotionally grown up. How to be friends with the person you love without going crazy.
19. There could be a disease.
This is a part that nobody likes to talk about. But you should be careful, especially if your friend has a lot of friends with benefits who are active.
You won’t talk about it, of course, because you don’t care, right? This is not only gross, but it also makes it easier for people to get diseases that are spread through sexual contact.
20. Feelings of love will find a way.
If you’re with someone for more than a few months, romance will come up for one of you. And believe us, neither of you will like where that road leads.
So, you should really just ask yourself if the risk is worth it. Is it worth having sex if it makes you feel things that might not be returned? How to make a friend-with-benefits want to be with you instead. Lastly, here are some really important rules to remember if you want to keep being friends with benefits.
21. Are you slipping?
If one of you starts to slip or fall for the other, break up at the first sign of doubt. This is a big rule from Friends with Benefits that you can’t break.
You don’t have much of a choice. You could do it, but it wouldn’t be good for you. Make sure that you put your mental health first. Most of the time, you can’t choose to love someone.
22. Dig into the particulars
Even if you don’t like it, you should at least know the number of your friend with benefits’ sexual partners instead of their names. This way, you’ll know how active they are.
If you have any doubts, you should also get a medical checkup now and then.
23. Everything good comes to an end
First of all, a relationship with “friends with benefits” is not a good thing. It’s a dangerous excuse to avoid commitment. But yeah, it’s still a lot of fun.
At the end of the day, a “friends with benefits” relationship, no matter how fancy it sounds, is almost always too good to be true.
24. There will always be some doubts.
Even if you both love each other, would you be happy together in the long run? It’s important to ask this question. You’d always wonder if your friend was being honest.
If it was so easy to get your friend to have sex with you, why can’t they have sex with someone else even though you’re both in relationships? And what happens in the long run when the relationship becomes boring and routine?
25. The ending was bad
If you end it, you might make your friend mad. He or she might get jealous or even want to get back at you. If you don’t end the relationship nicely, neither you nor your reputation will be happy in the end.
As long as it lasts, a friendship with benefits is always fun. Use these “friends with benefits” rules to keep the fun going as long as it’s safe for both of you, and then call it quits just before it’s too late.
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